The Threatening Ranch Hand

(Former?) Actor, current stable hand Robert Blake is all over the place. From overly polite to ""You ask too many questions," he barks at one point. "Don't you know not to interrupt an actor when he's on a roll?" while doing a recent interview with Linda Deutsch of the AP. He's menacing, very much so for a small, 72 year old man. While I admire his fire, mood swings like this make me think he needs sedation: He threatened to end the interview when he was asked about Rosie, the daughter he had with his late wife, Bonny Lee Bakley. Rosie, now 5, has been adopted by his adult daughter. At another point, saying he wanted to "sing a song to Rosie," he launched into a melodic rendition of the pop song "You Are So Beautiful to Me."

When Larry King asked what he had been doing lately after the murder trial had ended, his response indicated that he had been "cowboying it." Not knowing where he was going to wake up, shooting pool at truck stops till dawn. Now please don't hunt me down, creepy Beretta, but while I respect this "wherever I hang my hat is home" lifestyle, isn't it a bit sad to allow your daughter to adopt your other daughter, while you are out brushing horses and riding motorcycles?

In the event that he didn't do it, or that she deserved it, we wish him the best with his new apartment and fixed income: Blake said he's broke and living on his Social Security and Screen Actor's Guild pension. With his bankruptcy case pending, he said he needs permission just to get a new car. He's living in a small apartment now, a far cry from the homes he once occupied. "I feel like I'm on location in a movie where you're always walking down a long hallway," he said. Mostly I just get an ego boost knowing I'm living larger than a star of his magnitude, something I think about everyday. It usually goes along the lines of "I wonder what Prince is doing right now?" "Probably flying to Aruba and eating peeled grapes." "I wonder what Robert Blake is doing right now?" "Probably calling his super and trying to unclog an old toilet."

I have an idea for a more lucrative career, how about counseling other former child stars, such as "Goonies" cast members? I was going to mention McCauley Caulkin, but he seems to be doing great nowadays.

If help isn't what he has in mind, I can think of no better godfather for a porn ranch, the kind with beds hidden in barns and plenty of digital video cameras. Sounds like a career restarter to me, just please, don't yell at us, unstable grandpa.